church services friday night 2019.04.22. Meditation on the prayer of St. Ephrem of Syria (Seeing Our Sins)

Meditation on Scripture: Meditation on the prayer of St. Ephrem of Syria. "Seeing Our Sins"
Excerpt from the Russian book "Day by Day" for March 8 (21), translated and presented by Dimitry Zarechnak

Russian Orthodox Cathedral of St John the Baptist in Washington, DC
April 22, 2019
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"Grant me to see my failings”

Meditation:
Again and again the word of God comes to us: the Lord acts in many ways. He does not leave a person in peace, because in this peace of his he becomes insensitive, and the soil of his heart, dry and hard, can in the end become incapable of receiving God’s word, which will only touch the surface, as it says in the parable of the sower, and will vanish, because the soil was not able to accept it. Thanks be to God for everything that he uses to till this hard soil in order to loosen it, make it soft and create an opening for His word! Hardship, sickness, sorrows, our endless troubles, everything that shows us our powerlessness and destitution, is God’s plow, tilling the soil -- God’s visitation. He wants to plow deep furrows in this lifeless, disobedient soil In order to make it capable of accepting live seed.

Deep furrows of contrition and recognition of one’s sin – this is the soil which is favorable to accepting God’s word, this is the meaning and fruit of fasting, which we are embarking on in remembrance of Jesus Christ’s fast for our sins. There are many examples in the Old Testament when a fast was set in order to have people come to their senses, humble themselves, admit their sins, confess them and leave them behind. It is in this sense that we also say now: “Grant me to see my failings”.

We repeat this many times, on our knees, but how and for what purpose? Is it only to have our lips express the desire to see our sins, but not even to glance at them with our soul, or, seeing them momentarily, to clutch them even closer to our hearts and never to separate ourselves from them? To cover up our wounds as soon as possible, hide them from our and other’s eyes and leave them only covered up, but stinking and rotting in our hearts!

So why then “see my failings”? In order to hide them again in our souls and live even more peacefully with our deadly ulcers? Satan assiduously hides them from us, covers them over with dirty rags under which they rot even more and eat away at our souls. God opens our wounds because He is the Physician of our souls; he opens our wounds and rips off the rags in order to heal! This is what we ask for in crying out: “O, grant me to see my failings!” But our crying out must be sincere, we must not regard lightly that sin which impaled the Son of God on the Cross! So grant me “to see my failings”, fully comprehend them, and cast them off for good!

День за днем, 8 (21) марта.

«Даруй ми зрети моя прегрешения» (из молитвы св. Ефрема Сирина)
Снова и снова обращается к нам слово Божие: всячески действует Господь. Он не оставляет человека в покое, потому что в этом своем покое он черствеет, и почва его сердечная, засохшая и затвердевшая, может наконец стать неспособною принять слово Божие. Оно коснется лишь поверхности, как сказано в притче о сеятеле, и пропадет, потому что почва его внутрь не приняла. Благодарение Богу за все, чем Он переворачивает эту твердую землю, чтобы сделать ее рыхлою, мягкою и открыть в ней отверстие для слова Своего! Нужда, болезни, скорби, безысходные наши беды, все, что являет нам наше бессилие и нищету, – это Божий плуг, переворачивающий землю, это Божии посещения. Он хочет прорезать глубокие борозды в этой безжизненной непокорной почве, чтобы сделать ее способною воспринять живое семя.

Глубокие борозды сокрушения и сознания своего греха – вот почва, благоприятная для принятия слова Божия, вот значение и плод поста, к которому мы приступаем в память сорокадневного поста Иисуса Христа за грехи наши. Много есть примеров и в Ветхом Завете, когда назначался пост для того, чтобы опомнились люди, смирились, сознали бы свой грех, исповедали его и отступили бы от него. В этом смысле твердим и мы теперь: «Даруй ми зрети моя прегрешения».

Повторяем это, коленопреклоненные, много раз, но как и для чего? Неужели для того только, чтобы устами произнести желание увидеть грехи свои, а душой даже и не взглянуть на них, или же, увидав их вскользь, потом еще ближе прижать их к сердцу и не расставаться с ними никогда? Прикрыть поскорее свои раны, спрятать их от собственных и чужих глаз и оставить их только прикрытыми, но смердящими и гниющими в сердце!

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church services friday night 2019.04.22. Meditation on the prayer of St. Ephrem of Syria (Seeing Our Sins)
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